29 September 2008

Where's the big sign when you need it.

Ya know, the one that says "I'M FINE!!! NO PAINFUL STIMULATION. NO IVs AND YES, YOU DO KNOW ME!!"

That one.

Due to the lovely drug Lamictal, and the planned dose increase, I had another blackout attack. I was playing in the backyard with Boomer while Tori was taking pictures. Well.....sorta.

So, through a side gate I went (I haven't been through either of the side yards in almost a year)

And out to the street, a few blocks over and a few blocks up, then collapse. Then firefighters, paramedics, Medic One unit, transportation, ER.

I have bruises on my left arm from IVs, bruises on my chest from sternum rubs, and my jaw is killing me from some more painful stimulation. I know, I know, they were just doing their job. But honestly, at least one Firefighter/EMT/Medic who responds on a call has seen me. I just wish they remembered me all the times...

And we still haven't heard from Dr. H. Or Dr. S.

I want to be done...so badly. I want to give up, and some days I want to do something stupid. But, I can't. I want to figure this out, and I want to go on to help people, and have a family, and have a life...

I just wish this chapter weren't so crazy.

Well, I need sleep. I'm too tired for a shower tonight, so I'll have to get up way early to take one tomorrow morning before school


No comments: