07 December 2010

Update: Health

Physical Health:

Since my last post, I've started seeing a new doctor. She's a neurologist that specializes in sleep. With seeing her, I've also been put on new meds. I was put on Effexor XR, and antidepressant, to help with the cataplexy. It's doing it's job, physically, but mentally, it's thrown me for a ride.

I'm also now on a sleep medication. About a month back, I had an episode of sleep walking. I ended up going out my window and down the road. A neighbor called 911, and I was treated on-scene for cold and hypoglycemia. Because of that, and my history of "fugue states" she put me on a med used to treat sleep walking, Klonapin.

It works...I can finally sleep through the night, it feels like. But it makes mornings hard. And I've been having problems with severe dizziness since I started the drug. A lot of days, I'm so dizzy I can't do more than stay laying flat or sitting up slightly. And it's like that most of the day, regardless of whether or not I eat, if I drink a ton of water or almost none, it doesn't seem to matter.

Mental Health:

This has been harder. As I said, the Effexor has been helping with cataplexy, but it's not been helping at all with my mind. I've been depressed, and I didn't quite realize the depth until Tuesday last week. I tried to run away from home. This wasn't me being a dramatic teen, trying to show my parents or anything. I literally got so depressed and stressed I felt like the only way out was to get out. A lot happened, which I don't want to go into here, but I ended up in the Emergency Room that night. I talked with a crisis counselor, and asked if I could get help. I didn't need the kind of help Kris could give me. I was so depressed that night I felt like there was more going on than I or my family could deal with.

Unfortunately, I was told that although there were beds available, I would not be placed in one that night, due to having Narcolepsy. I hadn't made a serious attempt on my life, in the sense most people think of in suicide attempts. But for me, running away is like trying to take my life. I had nowhere to go. I didn't have my medication, which would have left me with terrible withdrawal symptoms and completely at mercy to my condition, had I even made it through a night. And I was told, bluntly, that had I tried to make an attempt on my life, it would not have gotten me into a bed. I would have been fixed up in the Emergency Room, and sent home just like I was Tuesday night. I didn't realize how screwed up our health care system is, but Tuesday showed me.

I'm doing better, both mentally and physically, and have an appointment with my sleep specialist, Dr. M, on Friday. I'll know more then.

More to come...


Update: School

Okay...where to start?

Since I last posted, a lot of stuff has changed education-wise.

First, I started at NP, an alternative school in my district. Things seemed to be working out there. The classes were small, and I was on track to graduate. The work was independent, which I like, but I also missed my friends from FP. I was only in school on campus two afternoons a week, and even with that, I was having a hard time managing making it through the day, if I even made it to school.

So...I started thinking again about my other options. I knew I could just struggle through the year, but I don't thinks that's whats best for me health wise. So I looked into getting my GED.

For me, it is an internal struggle. I have worked SO hard over the last 4 years to be able to graduate with a class (forget MY class, I just wanted to walk) but even that seems too far out of reach right now. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that it's not that I'm giving up. I'm taking steps to finish my education. Can it make getting a job in the future harder? Yes. Can it make getting into a college harder? Yes. But I don't feel like the stress is good for my body. I don't want to have to "just push through" this year. I want to feel accomplished when I get my certificate saying I completed my high school education, whether that's a GED or diploma.

So that's where I am as far as school is concerned.

More to come...