30 November 2008

I got 'em!

We got the coloring books today!
So tomorrow will be busy...

Up for meds at 6-6:30, then shower, then running over to Mary Bridge to drop of the donations *EEE*
Also hopefully getting a new broccoli<---(I'll explain later)
Then at about Noon, Noon-30 I'm going with Ms.E and S to go see Twilight.
Then home, then dinner at Jimmy Mac's (hopefully)
Then Church at 6:00.
Then home.


28 November 2008

Black Friday=endless

Long day. I had to get up at 6 for meds, that wasn't a change, but I couldn't go back to sleep. Pooh. Both my extra days off and I've gotten up at 6 and not been able to go back to sleep. Maybe my body LIKES getting up at 6 on the weekdays >:(

Anyhoo. We did shopping today, just Mom and I. I got all the things for gifts for family (except Mom, that'll be a secret mission) Now I don't really have to worry about Christmas shopping. WOOT!!

But now Mom deserves a badge or medal or something...she went shopping with first my Dad, then Tori, then me, then we took Tori to her dental thingy, then Ash to her friend's house, then..then home. She and Dad and us girls have had long days lol.

And, sometime this weekend I'll be getting the coloring books and bringing them to Mary Bridge. That'll be sooo fun!!

And...umm...IDK what else. Church on Sunday with Ms. E, *possibly* movies tomorrow?

Yup. It's official. I'm tired.
Haha I like this

It's what I live by.


27 November 2008

What I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for the roof over my head.
I'm thankful that my parents are still together and love each other.
I'm thankful for my siblings.
I'm thankful for the food on my table, and the life I know I take for granted.
I'm thankful that my condition is improving.
I'm thankful for the doctors who have helped me get here.
I'm thankful for my school support system, who have helped me get so far already.
I'm thankful for the freedom to express my religion, thoughts, and diversity.
I'm thankful for the men and women who are fighting for those rights.
I'm thankful for the friends we'll be having over tonight.
I'm thankful that I know I am loved and wanted.
I'm thankful, because I know I have it good. I know things could be much worse and are for many.
I'm thankful for the people in my life who have helped us get to where we are.
I'm thankful that I now have the opportunity to give back what was once giving to us.

I don't have to think about what I'm thankful for....everything around me, or that once was, I am thankful for.
I will have the opportunity to have a future, to have a life. I will have the opportunity to be a leader, to be successful.

I love that.

What are you thankful for?

26 November 2008

I don't know WHY that's there?

Yeah...it's never comforting to hear your doctor say that after he's just cut a chunk of tissue out of your arm. Very unsettling.

I went to see Dr. S today, and he said yeah, it would be a good idea to remove it, but it wouldn't be an issue to do it there. So, down to the procedure room, and after about 15-20 min the stitches were already in and I was on my way. But not before he said that lol.
It was like, scar tissue. He said it was probably just causing interference with the nerves which is why it was hurting.

And my IEP wasn't anything special, just restating what I already knew and putting it on paperwork. I did find out that I get 15 min of counseling time a week at school, no strings attached, so if I ever need to just vent or cry or just get a break I can go down to Miss E's office and do so.

Umm...OH!! I got to WALK to the library. I love being able to say that!! I didn't think to check online first and it turned out they were closed so Ash and I just dropped off my books and sat for about 20 min then walked back home.

Then...I went to help a family friend cook but it turned out we just sat and talked for like...2 hours. Then Mom, Dad, and Ash came and got me and we did shopping then grabbed some food and now home.


So I need to clean my room, and then I reallly just want to veg for a bit.


25 November 2008

I'm tired

I am...So I didn't post yesterday.

And I'm not sure if this post will have much today.
I got to stand up today at school.(w/o the helmet) I told Mrs. B I really needed to get up and stretch and she was fine with it...I may ask to do it more often. It felt good to stand up and stretch after sitting for 3+ hours. And I found out I'm taller then Amy, my para. LOL. But you know what? She came out of the bathroom, saw me standing, and didn't freak. She just got a big smile on her face and said it was nice to see me standing. I <3>

Other than that....IDK. Not much. I'm tired. And Thanksgiving break is almost here..so that's good. And for once I have weekend plans, before the weekend lol.

Oh...I'm much closer to getting caught up in Geo. Now I'm only one chapter behind them! That's exciting for me.

Soo....more tomorrow. Promise. I have a Dr's appointment and an IEP meeting, but other then that we only have a half day so I should have more energy to do stuff.

Hey whada ya know. It had "stuff"


23 November 2008

A new experience, one step closer to the Lord

Today I met with Ms. E for coffee. While we sat and drank our caffeine, the subject of church came up, and I was invited to join her at church. I accepted, and my Mom agreed to let me go, and at 6:15 we headed out.

Tonight was a new experience. Not only did I not use my chair, which is an accident in hindsight, it was also my first time in a Catholic church in a very long time.

Everything was new, except Ms. E. I had a good time though...it's been very long since I set foot in a church, and I enjoyed it. I learned some of the hymns, learned how the mass went. I loved the sermon. To sum it up, "Be kind to everyone you meet, for we are all fighting some kind of battle." Of course it wasn't presented like that, but in layman's terms that was it.

Then, while everyone was taking Communion, I collapsed. Had an attack. *sigh*
Actually, I had two tonight. Much too much new. My body also didn't like the up-down aspect, or the heat.

But, even with all of it, I'm glad I made the decision to go. I want to go again, first chance I get.

Thank you Ms. E, for giving me the opportunity.

Thank you Lord, for protecting me and surrounding me with a friendly group of people.

Thanks, to all of my support system.

It's just a minor setback, and it won't stop me!!


22 November 2008

Dinner for four

Mom, Dad, Tori and I went out for dinner last night cause we were the only ones home. Ash is on her sailing trip and Bro works nights.

So...not much to do this weekend.

Sleep sounds good. And I have a bit of homework in Geo, but other then that I don't have anything. I think...I don't know. I want to go for a walk or something. I want some outdoor exercise.

I figured out how to fix some of the wiggly parts on my chair so that will get done this weekend. OH and I might get to go to coffee with Ms. E tomorrow!!

That's' exciting.

Well, TTFN

20 November 2008


I feel gross today. Sore and achy and stuff.

And I'm worn out. I've been doing full days of school for a while. And it's soo exhausting. I'm not used to it and either is my body. Plus I think the meds I'm on, while they are stopping the attacks, are making me run on high all day and then I'm not getting enough sleep to make up for all the energy I'm using.

My schedule got fixed today. Now I have an independent study during 3rd period and a study hall during 6th. It's going good.

I'm tired though...just worn out.

And my arm is still bugging me, I hope that maybe sometime next week I can get in to see Dr. S about it.

Well, TTFN

19 November 2008


Amazing day today. I had my appointment with Kris. Good to talk to her. Good to not have to use the chair. And Ash and I also walked down to the library without the chair!. But now I'm sore and exhausted so...

I talked to Mrs. B about what PT Lady said yesterday. She feels kinda sketchy about the going an extra month too. It's too much change at once.

Really about time for bed.

Tori's really hurting from getting her wisdom teeth pulled today. Please pray for her discomfort to end soon.


18 November 2008

Just gets worse

I remembered what PT Lady said today. She doesn't think it's safe for me to stop using my chair at school until SEMESTER!!!


And I sat at the clinic for 2-1/2 hours today for my arm, only to have the doc poke it once, and then say he couldn't help me. He referred us to a surgeon in Auburn, said that the surgeon would have to evaluate it. *Cries*

Too much.....

Mom is gonna call Dr. S and see if he can get us in; or if he feels the surgeon is the best option then send us to one in our health care system.

Yeah...just too much and too late at night to deal with this all. I just finished my homework and now I'm ready to crash. And I didn't even get to watch House. I was at the clinic....



Proposed Laws

How about one against idiocy?

My afternoon bus driver, (yet another sub) didn't have clue 1 about how to properly secure a wheelchair. She didn't even know where the tiedown locks were kept.
Some other reasons she shouldn't drive include trying to cut off a semi x2, not using turn signals, not using warning light before stopping at the railroad tracks (at least she managed that one). And quite possibly speeding. Idiot.

Yeah...I'm annoyed. Very very annoyed.

17 November 2008

New news.

So. Doctor's appointment went well...and not quite as I expected.

Where to start? At the beginning?

Well, Mom and Dad let me walk in! I didn't even know until we were on the way.

Which was awesome...the ceilings were so...low. And it was verrrry odd being in an elevator while standing. I realized I was kinda off balance when I stepped out. LOL

Then. I checked in, got weighed and measured (I'm a full inch taller then I thought I was...I'm 5' 4 1/2"!)

And we waited for Dr. H. When he came out he said he wanted to get my BP again, once when I was sitting then again while I was standing. Odd, but okay. SO we did that, then went back to his office. First of all, he knew something was up cause no chair.

Then, we looked at a different condition, not Cataplexy. Something called OI, or Orthostatic Intolerance.


Basically, it explains the attacks, as well as the hair and nails. Plus, heat is one of the known triggers for OI, while it wasn't for Cataplexy.

We're staying on the same medication, because it's used to treat OI as well as Cataplexy, and I was told to drink lots more water. So it's hard to tell which is which, what it actually is. Honestly, especially since the meds are the same, and one treatment just involves more water, I don't care.

Good thing though. I showed him my emergency info, which he liked. But he was like, "Don't put Conversion Disorder on there. First off, it's not Conversion Disorder, and I'll be changing that as your official diagnoses as soon as I know what to put in it's place. Second, the few people that actually do know what CD is almost always get it confused with malingering, I.E. doing something for secondary gain."

So. Good good.

And about the chair. He said not using it at home is fine, not using it at the movies/store/out is fine. BUT...school is another thing. He said he'd like me to push myself to see how I do without the chair, but school isn't the place to do it. After 2-3 months, then no chair at school. *SIGH* So after Christmas Break...no more chair. But Dad is gonna have to tinker with it or it's gonna fall apart soon.

So. That's all. Geo is going well, I've almost got a full other chapter done. And Intro, English, and WC are all caught up. So that's good.

Well, I'm off for now.


I met my para today. Her name is Amy and she's cool. Her being there gave me so much freedom today! During 3rd I went to to Library, where it was nice and quiet to do work. Then during 6th we went and sat outside in the sun, and walked/rolled around a bit. It was nice.
I also like the fact that she doesn't sit right up against me or anything. She sat in the back of my class and left me alone unless I asked for help. Very awesome of her.

She said she was excited too because for the most part she'll be getting paid to read a book at this point. Cause the stuff I'm doing right now is just independent work, and since we both suck at math she can't help me with that lol.

So...more stuff later after my doc's appointment.


16 November 2008

Been a while

A bit over a week actually.

Sorry for that.

Anyways...I've been doing good!! Still no attacks. My last one was on the 28th of October. I'm so excited. But guarded to. It's...I don't know. Kinda hard to explain.

If all goes well, then by Wednesday I should be able to go to the store/mall/movies/out in general with no chair.

School will be harder though. Still no para, and being able to not use the chair will take time.

Because it isn't just about me. Tomorrow I'll see Dr. H. If he says three weeks is still long enough, then at home I can stop using the chair. With school, we'll be doing something entirely different.

What will probably happen is this. After we work out a plan, I'll use the chair to get to school and go from class to class. But in the classroom I'll be able to not use the chair.

But...I'll have to talk to my classes, all of them this time. I don't think all the kids in my classes know I can walk and such, and me like, suddenly standing up would definitely confuse some of them.

SOOOOO...I don't know. I know this is kind confusing. I promise tomorrow I'll have more comprehensive post in the PM.


08 November 2008


Every day is one. Every day I face different challenges then the ones I faced the previous day.

With no attacks comes the ability to feel again. Feel freely. Feel emotion with no boundaries, and no fear of passing out.


All without passing out. All with their appropriate equals.

And it's overwhelming. For more then a year I haven't had to deal with the emotions. In the beginning I just had an attack. Towards the end I just stopped. I walked away or restrained myself for my own protection.

And now I don't have either of those endings. I have to deal with the emotions. I have to face the situations. And just like me forgetting my algebra from lack of practice, I haven't yet learned how to filter and feel correctly.

It'll take time. Lots and lots of time.
And changes.
And support.

Good thing I'll get all 3.


"I rowed ovuh!!"

Yeah..gotta love the parentals.

So I saw Dr. S Thursday about my arm. He looked at it, said the *possible* reason it isn't healing is because there is a minor Staph infection underneath the skin, which is also causing the hard lump and nerve issues.
So antibiotic for me, if it doesn't get better by the time the course is done or gets worse go back blah blah blah. I've heard that part before...

I also got a flu shot, cause the nurse's office is where sick people and Bri go lol. A just-in-case sort of thing.


I had an okay turned bad day yesterday.
I was fine 1st and 2nd, but 3rd is where the stress started and BOOM!
No I didn't have an attack...just minor emotional meltdown due to some idiot.

Being in Bio is really getting to me...I know no matter how hard I work, I won't get credit for what I do because I'm dropping the class and taking it next year. But I haven't been told it's okay for me to stop worrying about the work, to stop doing the work, so I still feel responsible for turning it in and doing well on it. Hence the stress.

And so I went to the nurse's office during lunch, and...melted a bit. I was sitting there, and I needed to use the bathroom, which itself sucks cause of the helmet, but as soon as I said I needed to go, Tori started scrambling to get her things together so she could run back there with me. I yelled at her...I was upset. I'm already as safe as I can be in there, her sitting 20 feet away doesn't help anymore. I just wanted to be alone.

I wasn't mad, although the Mrs. B (the nurse) said Tori had thought I was angry at her. I wasn't...I was upset. Mrs. B was walking me to 4th, but IDK. The thought of having to sit in a noisy room full of kids who don't take class seriously was enough to make me cry. Ball really. 4th was a scratch. I went back to Mrs. B's office and sat at the back in her office and did work. Calmed down and focused. Then went to 5th and worked on some programs. I'll take my test on Monday.

Then...6th. In 6th I've been told to not worry about the work, its basically a holding place for me right now, as we can't change my schedule yet but same with Bio I won't be earning credits. So after the teacher introduced class I asked if I could go to Mrs. B's office and do some stuff there like shredding old records. She was fine with it so that's what I did 6th.

Then when I got home, Ash and I walked (rolled) to the Library and got some books. And then sat outside for a bit. And I told the firefighters that the hose had fallen (they were filling the water tank on the truck.) I really want to be able to tell them how well I've been doing, but I didn't know either of the firefighters that came out...so it was awkward. So, next Tuesday. Cause I know the people who work on Tuesdays.

Then, prescription, dinner stuffs, home. Dinner, bed.


And today I might be going to the Library again to work on some English stuff with one of my classmates, A. I wonder if Mom will let me not use the chair. Hmmm...


05 November 2008

Very Superior

I had a good day today.

This morning we went to school early for my Special Ed meeting.
During the meeting I found out the scores of my testing.

Academics were very good, with all but my math calculation score being >12.9, meaning I tested college level on them. My math calculation score was 8.9. Which means I definitely need help in Math. Even though I've done and passed Algebra 1&2, and Geometry 1, I don't know the formulas any more, or how to work out the problems.

The IQ test said I was in the 'High Average' range for my age. A lot of the test sections I got superior or very superior on, but a few were low average, like some of the ones related to memory. Which I kinda guessed would happen.

So, it was decided that I do qualify for Special Education under the 'Health Impairment' category.

With it, my 6th period will change to a study skills class, and my 3rd will change to a lower level math class, possibly an individual instruction Algebra class, so I can relearn the Algebra skills I need while still getting caught up in Geo.

So. This is good.

After the meeting, Dad and I drove Mom to Seattle for work. Then, we waited for Bro up there so we could give him some money.
While we were waiting for Bro, we decided to just make an appointment with Dr. S tomorrow for my arm. It isn't unbearable, and the urgent care clinic is walk-in and there's no way to tell how long it might take, and we were running short on time.

So. Then we headed back to the house, stopped and got lunch on the way. We rested for a few minutes, and then went to go get Ash and Tori for our afternoon appointments.

So, I went first with Kris, so Dad could go in to Tori's dental appointment and not have to worry about me.

We talked about some stuff, mostly about how I tend to be so logical I'm not emotional...at least when it would be okay to be both.

Then...home. And once Ash got home from her appointment, we walked (rolled) to the Library. And I got to wave to the firefighters lol. I plan on stopping by next week and telling them how well it's been going. I think the attacks being under control is definitely something they would like to know.

So. That's been my day. Very very very busy lol.

I'm tired but I wanna watch my show. So I'm gonna wait for a bit before bed.


03 November 2008

Is that like doppleganger?

Sorry, random quote.

Good day.

Sore arm.

Talking to friend.

Sore arm.


Getting caught up.

Good day.

Totally not a style of poem but hey!
That's the facts.


02 November 2008


My arm still hurts pretty badly, but my ear is better. And I haven't had a single attack since Tuesday!

I'm having a hard time with writing. Typing I can do one-handed, but writing just makes my arm scream. I've been working on Bio all weekend but since half of it was done with my hurt arm and the other half with my left hand, it looks like a three year old did it. At least I was able to type the assessment and email it to my teacher. I'm gonna talk to Mrs. B tomorrow about my arm. See if she recommends anything to help while I'm in school.

But I was able to go to the mall with my Bro and his GF and Tori. I tried on a dress for Fall Formal, and it didn't look too bad while I was sitting down. But the fact that if I go I'll have to use the chair sucks.

Now I'm just gonna finish chores and proly laze all night. Or cruise the net!


01 November 2008

Am I like, cursed?

Cause a second thing brought me to the doc's today. When I woke up I had a bite on my arm, no big deal. But as I was helping move Squish and HER baby out of the big cage, these sharp pains shot up and down my arm, out from the bite.

Dad looked at it and said he wanted us to get it checked out because we weren't sure what bit me, so we went to the urgent care clinic.

The doctor there said there weren't signs of infection yet, but the fact that it was hard and made my arm muscles hurt *could* be an issue. So he prescribed a cortisone? cream, and said if it turns purple or shows signs of necrosis to go to the ER.

Right now it just hurts really bad, and I'm actually worried that it isn't a spider bite. When I raise my arm above my arm, the bump raises, like something is under the skin. Maybe I'm just being paranoid cause I broke my needle while I was sewing last night and can't find the tip. I guess we'll know in a few days.

So....yeah. Homework and chores. I'm out.