06 October 2009

Oh, how lucky am I

I found out the reason my sister got her panties in a twist today.Not because she couldn't do something.

No no, it's because my siblings decided I didn't try hard enough today.

You know, it would be one thing for me to wake up, walk out of my room and go "You know what guys? I've decided today I'm not going to go to school. I don't care what you have planned or how it effects your life. I just want to stay in bed and be lazy."

Except that's not what happened. And yes, I woke up at 10 and seemed okay. Never mind I was still exhausted. I don't care what you saw, there was no way I was going to be able to make it through my classes and not fall asleep or have attacks. You have no room to judge whether or not I'm 'trying' hard enough. You have no idea what it's like to sleep for 10 hours, wake up, and feel MORE tired than when you went to bed, if that's possible.

I'm sick and tired of trying to defend myself against something that is only so much in my control. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to react when someones comes out with some sarcastic remark because they're angry at me.

I need help. Soon. I know that it's only a few weeks until we go to Stanford, and hopefully we'll get some answers for better medication to treat the symptoms. But that doesn't mean that the comments will stop, because they KNOW it's the best way to upset me. I just want it to stop.

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