17 December 2008

I'll Walk

This song hit me hard today.

Monday night, actually Tuesday morning, it was confirmed I would be staying in the ER until the morning when they could remove the needle.

I asked a nurse if Mom and Dad could go home. It wasn't that I don't love them, it wasn't that I didn't want them, it's that I didn't need them. It's hard, it's so hard.

"We were 18, it was prom night.
We had our first big fight.
She said "Pull this car over".
I did and then I told her, "I don't know what you are crying for".

I grabbed her hand, as she reached for the door.
She said, I'll walk.
Let go of my hand.Right now I'm hurt, and you don't understand.
So just be quiet.
And later we will talk.
Just leave, don't worry.
I'll walk.

It was a dark night, a black dress.
Driver never saw her, around the bend.
I never will forget the call, or driving to the hospital
when they said her legs still wouldn't move.
I cried, when I walked into her room.

She said, I'll walk.
Please come and hold my hand.
Right now I'm hurt, and I don't understand.
Lets just be quiet, and later we can talk.
Please stay, don't worry.
I'll walk.

I held her hand through everything.
The weeks and months of therapy.
And I held her hand and asked her, to be my bride.
She's dreamed from a little girl, to have her daddy bring her down the isle.
So from her wheelchair, she looks up to him and smiles.

And says, I'll walk.
Please hold my hand.
I know that this will hurt, I know you understand.
Please daddy don't cry.
This is already hard.
Let's go, don't worry.
I'll walk."

This last verse, its how I feel right now. I'm trying so hard to break out, and I know there have to be limits. I know. But I feel that some of the things Mom and Dad struggle with, like leaving the hospital on Tuesday morning, are things they have to work on. I love them dearly, without fail. But I want to grow, I want to succeed, and I want to walk.

It's hard.
I don't want them to worry.
But if they give me the opportunity,
I'll walk!


No comments: